For both adults and children, processing occurrences of mass tragedy and natural disaster is a sensitive, highly individual, complex, and usually lifelong process. As the greater Nashville community lives in the wake of Tuesday morning’s tornadoes, which devastated our city, and as we are barraged with media drawing our attention to injuries, deaths, destruction and trauma, many parents and caregivers wonder about how best to talk to or support their children.
Recently, I have developed increasing concern for our teens and the level of pressures they feel. In my conversations with parents, I hear comments such as “Don’t provide him with accommodations for his dyslexia; he needs to do it on his own, or he’ll never learn;” or “I know she has executive function deficits and sometimes struggles to turn in her work on time, but she’ll learn, if you just give consequences;” or “I’m going to put him in another independent school before he goes to college, or he will never make it in life. He doesn’t need all these supports.”
As mentioned in last week’s post, it was suggested that the first place to start in helping a teen gain more independence is to evaluate one’s own parenting style. The parenting style referred to as the authoritative or assertive-democratic style typically is more closely aligned with the parent who wants to gradually release control so the teen becomes a wise decision-maker and can successfully live independently. In this style, the parent provides emotional support to the teen but also sets expectations and guidelines while involving the teen in some decisions when appropriate.
Some things just go together… peanut butter and jelly, salt and pepper, the South and sweet tea… As someone who spent formative years in the South, it was quite a rude awakening to find that not all tea is created equal throughout the country.
